Monday, December 6, 2010


I have been staring at my computer screen for some time now
trying to figure out where to start, how much information
is too much information?
I would love to share a bit of Christmas decorating or tales of our
last trip to the cabin but it feels wrong to just dive right back in
without at least sharing a bit of what's been happening in my
little corner of the world. If you would rather not hear about the
everyday insanity that seems to have enveloped me of late
then feel free to skip over this post.
As many of you know my sister was diagnosed with lung cancer
a year ago. This summer it spread to her brain, requiring quite a bit
of radiation to her head. We were told by the radiologist and
oncologist that after some time her brain function would return
to some normalcy. I've decided that most of these doctors are
'pollyannas' and would rather just keep the conversation light rather
than discuss the hard truth when dealing with a potentially fatal disease.
I guess they figure by the time you get around to demanding some
 real answers, it'll all be too late for questions anyway.
As my sister's day to day functioning has gotten worse I finally decided
we needed to see a neurologist. I was getting pretty tired of the pat answer
'she's doing fine' when I would bring up concerns about her behavior
and mental state. God bless that neurologist, he finally gave us the truth.
Her brain function will never return to 'normal', she will continue to have
problems with many tasks and should no longer be driving. Why was that so
hard for any of these other doctors to say?
It's been a bit overwhelming but I have taken over doing her banking, paying
her bills and filling her daily pill boxes so she doesn't take the wrong
meds or forget altogether. Getting her to an appoitment still requires a
morning phone call and showing up early to make sure she's dressed.
She forgets from the time I call until I pick her up what she was supposed to do.
It's all very sad really, mostly because she feels bad that she can't and
doesn't remember. I have to keep reminding myself that given enough time
she'll forget that too.
I am grateful for all the time I am spending with her as I am aware that these days
will be over all too soon. When? Only God can say, it may be weeks, months
or even a year or longer. It will be too soon whenever He calls her home.
Please keep her in your prayers!


  1. Sometimes a gal is carrying a sadness so great it threatens to swamp the boat. I'm so glad that you decided to share. Burdens shared are truly burdens lightened. I know how to pray now. Your sister is so blessed to have you to help her through. She never would have chosen this illness and so I know that you give her much grace in her lapses. And I'm sorry that some doctors don't do the kindest thing, which is to tell the truth. I'd add that God can do all things. I'm praying for a special touch for you both.

  2. Thanks for sharing what's happening with your sister's situation. We are praying and this helps us pray more specifically - for your sister and for you. Asking God to shower you with blessings and strength and courage for every day.

  3. I will add you and your sister to my prayers. I know what you are going through. My own sister died of lung cancer and I still remember how hard it was on our family. Sharing helps process it all and of course we care. Blessings to you and your family as you gothrough this hard time.

  4. I sat with my sister until she drew her last breath.....not one day goes by that I don't think of it and that was nine years are in my prayers hard to watch.
    God Bless you for looking after her and being there to care for and love her!
    Margaret B

  5. Dear Diva, I am so sorry to hear about this. You are a very good Sister, to take care of her in the way that you do. I hope you draw strength from your readers and remember that you and your Sister will have prayers said from all over the

  6. So sorry to hear this, Diva. I am wishing you strength and much love.

  7. My thoughts are with you and your sister. Thanks for sharing what you've been going through.

  8. I feel a lot of empathy for you/with distressing for her to be like this, my Brother who died in 2009 had years of suffering with a severe head injury from when he was 18, he passed away at 35, when he had a final and fatal fall and blow to the head, I know its a different medical condition, but its the feeling of deep sadness that they are never the same person after such treatment to the brain, each day little bits of them ebbs away and its sad to see it happen....I do pray for you all, that she might soon be peaceful and her mind well rested, I guess in the end it is only God who can make us whole again.....I like to think that Jason is as he was, young and happy, full of fun and his life in a heavenly way....xxxxxxxxx

  9. Oh Sweety, You've both been in my prayers all along and I'm so incredibly sorry things are progressing as they are. You were smart to go to a neurologist. You're right about Drs. not being straight with caregivers.

    We are walking parallel paths right now - you and Ceil, me and my mother. I know the tender moments and the prayers of gratitude for being able to spend time together....but I know the weight of sadness and anxiety that wash over you like waves, without warning.

    I wish I lived close enough to give you a hug, or sit in companionable silence with you. I wish I could spend time with Ceil.

    I'm just so sorry, Diva. Please know that. And I hold a special place for you in my heart. xo

  10. Sweetie I'm sad to read this post. Do you know that is exactly what happened to my dear Mother 3 years ago. Sadly the cancer finally went into her brain & that's what got it. This time of year is especially hard for me, I miss her so. But I agree with 100% of what your saying. I think Drs. are so uncomfortable with having discussions with families. I think they wish they never had to speak to us. I could never get a straight answer either by any of the docs about her survival chances. Until finally the brain cancer & the nuerologist was the one who broke it to me. Maybe they are encouraged in their training to be honest. Prayers to you friend. Lisa

  11. Thank you for your honesty. Clearly, caring for your sister is what is dominant for you this holiday season. Thank goodness you finally had a doctor who told you the truth. You and your sister are in my prayers. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you both.


  12. DIva,
    I will continue to pray for you and your sister. She is blessed to have you to care for her, and you will be blessed for doing so. God will help you both get through these difficult days.
    Please know I care.
    ♥ audrey