Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wishcasting Wednesday

Wow, I can't believe it's been a week since the last mindblowing question...it seems that these questions require some soul searching and digging to answer. I have to say that although I know the answer to this week's question, 'What do you wish to acknowledge for yourself?' I am finding it difficult to actually put into print.
I wish to acknowledge that I AM AN ARTIST and that it's okay to claim that title for myself. That was really hard to say out loud, I have always wanted to see myself that way since the age of about 8 when I first saw an adult with a studio painting on an easel at a friend's house. It seemed magical to me at the time, that her mother created these beautiful works in her home studio. You see there were never any signs of art around my house growing up, not the two dimensional kind anyway. My mom was very creative with a sewing machine and I have since come to respect that as a beautiful art form, but drawing and painting were foreign in our home.
Of course I did have the Crayola 8 pack and coloring books to play with but certainly nothing 'fine art'. The vision I witnessed at my new freind's house was amazing to me as a young girl and I knew instantly that I wanted that life for myself! Without any real guidance I just started practicing and drawing everyhting I could and I found that over time I actually had a talent for it, although no one in the family had any clue where it was coming from.
Fast forward to Jr. & Sr. High and I found I could actually take an art class as part of my curriculum, I was in heaven. Even though I excelled academically my art classes were by far my favorite. I had a wonderful teacher in high school who encouraged me and helped me put together a portfolio and I was accepted at 'Moore College of Art' in Philadelphia.
So why is it so difficult for me to say 'I am an artist'??? I think many things have broken my spirit along the way, the first dent in my armour came when my older brother (whom I idolized) said to me 'art school is where all the weird kids go'. Comments soon followed by many who tried to tell me 'one could never make a living at it'. The final blow came when I dropped out of college after my freshman year to get a job and help out my Mom (she was struggling financially since the death of my Dad during my senior year in H.S.) Little by little all my confidence got chipped away.
I did draw from time to time while raising my children but threw most of my creative energies into homemaking, cooking, gardening and needlework. I see now that I needed an outlet! When my oldest son went to college I did take some art classes at our community college and then more at a local art guild but still I never felt worthy of the title 'Artist'.
When I became active in my church I found ways to help out by offering my artwork for everything from bulletin covers to donated pieces for our 'art show' fundraiser. I still hesitate to call myself an artist and I don't really feel worthy of the title, perhaps because I never finished my formal education or because I have watched the years slip by without allowing myself to fully engage in the process of creating. It seems there are always excuses or stumbling blocks along the way.
So back to today's wishcast, I wish to be able to acknowledge that I am indeed an artist and that it's not too late for me to start living the life I dreamed of at the age of eight!!!

33 comments:

  1. What Diva wishes to acknowledge for herself,so I acknowledge for also. I also feel my confidence was chipped away by life's challenges but I also am building myself back up. May the artist in you always shine bright.

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  2. What a lovely expression about acknowledging yourself as an artist.

    As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself, so I wish to acknowledge her also.

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  3. Hey artist, well done. What a great thing to acknowledge. I bet you feel great. Now, go forth and paint some more!

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  4. As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself, so I wish to acknowledge her also.
    Enjoy! :)

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  5. As Diva wishes to acknowledge about herself, so I, Carmen wish to acknowledge with her.

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  6. As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself as an artist, so I wish to acknowledge her as Artist.

    Yay Diva!

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  7. As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself as an artist, so I wish to acknowledge her as Artist.

    Here is to the Artist in you!!!

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  8. As Diva wishes to acknowledge about herself, so I wish to acknowledge with her.

    I, too, am coming back to my dreams after a long hiatus and I celebrate the journey ahead with you. You are an artist, Diva! Embrace it!

    (I am at http://blog.sweetsoliloquies.com)

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  9. As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself, so I wish to acknowledge her also.
    Whoo hoo Let Fly with the artist in you!!! Let that muse out hon!!! I so deeply related to what you went through as an artist! I went through similar things myself. But now...well I have unleashed my art muse and she is cracking the whip!! I am in heaven..bliss! May your artist you come to full bloom!!! Namaste, Sarah

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  10. AMEN! &&& A bag of Chips! YES! :) I *feel* what a huge thing this is, and it is awesome :)
    As Diva acknowledges her Artist and that it is never too late for any dream, so too do I acknowledge The Diva Kreszel in all of her artistry :) May the easels of your life bring you sheer joy :)
    ~Shamsi

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  11. As Diva wishes to acknowledge about herself, so I wish to acknowledge with her.

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  12. As Diva wishes to acknowledge about herself, so I wish to acknowledge about her also.

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  13. As the Artist currently known as Diva wishes to acknowledge about herself, and her talents and her heart callings, so I wish to acknowledge also.

    Funny, last night we were watching a high school band practice, and I told hubby "those are the geek kids now, but in 20 years they'll look back and realize how wonderful and cool they really were and still are."

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  14. Of course you are an artist! I recently learned that for myself as well. I never thought I had any talent and just five months ago I decided I was going to just start - and it's been unbelievable! So, here's to the artist in all of us!! Thanks for finding my blog!! :) Silke

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  15. Hi Diva,

    You are an artist and can earn a living that way! May this wish continue to bloom.

    Giulietta the Muse

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  16. As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself, so I acknowledge her also.

    Yay you! Cheers to your bravery in claiming your identity as an artist. It is never too late to be who you are, my love. This belongs to you.

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  17. As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself as an artist, so do I! I believe we all have a creative channel, it's just a matter of opening and harnessing it!

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  18. There is nothing wrong with declaring to be an artist. I wish I was ,because I really enjoy beautiful art work. Thank you so much for dropping by my post. In answer to your question, yest I am still reading my many cards. There will be something out there on it soon.

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  19. Do you feel a sense of power now having said those words, or word, artist? I want to find the word for me! It is hard to define yourself sometimes as a woman. And I know we feel that we've no right to name ourselves to something a piece of paper, degree, doesn't say we are. But we must acknowledge as women with our without the degree our life experience is valuable. Yes, sadly that alone won't pay the bills! Maybe I'll work on this week admitting I am a creative person in many ways,also a deeply compassionate one too. Stinks to be afraid to acknowledge ourselves doesn't it? Lori

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  20. As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself, so I wish to acknowledge her also.

    You are an artist! How great is that you can declare it!

    Thanks for stopping by.

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  21. You know... we make our own definitions of who we are. You are an artist...I am an artist...we all are artists because we create our life every day.
    As Diva, the artist, wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

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  22. Hello Diva
    I'm glad I came for a visit just in time to read your lovely post.
    I think every artist has felt this way at one time or another.
    First we must understand what the definition of an artist is for us as an individual.
    For me, it means I can only be completely happy if I am in the process of creating something..."I must create" is my motto and because I create, I am an artist.
    It makes me feel good when others enjoy or admire my art, but even if they didn't, I would still create for my own love of it...therefore I am an artist.
    I love the fact that you have recognized that in yourself and I hope you feel the freedom to create the kind of art that is uniquely yours.
    I wish you the joy and satisfaction art brings.
    From one artist to another,
    x Lori

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  23. I enjoyed reading this about you. Art is one of those things that you can feel so strongly and feel that others do not understand your passion. Keep on believing, no matter what life throws in the way.
    Amy

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  24. I think we were separated at birth. Seriously. I graduated from Villanova University with BFA and NEVER used it. Back then, and still to this day, I can barely draw a stick figure. My strength is in design and color. Still, I find it hard to call myself an artist, even though I know I've been gifted with a heap of creativity. I'm working on this too! I will say though that becoming an artist is not always something that happens in school. In my 20's I had no idea what I wanted to focus in on. Now in my 40's, my creative talent is coming alive! It's a journey of many years that is always changing. If you have the artist gift inside, it will always be there; ever changing and ever growing.

    As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also!

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  25. Yay yay yay! here's to you getting down with your artist self!! ;)

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  26. It's powerful when you can say what you feel in your heart. Yes, you are an artist! I understand the feelings of self-doubt, the thoughtless negative words of others influencing us for years. I've just recently done the same as you - said what I've wanted to say since childhood - "I am an artist!"

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and introducing yourself! Stop by again any time.
    :0)
    Angela

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  27. What the Artist Diva wishes to acknowledge for herself,so I acknowledge for Artist Diva also.

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  28. As Diva wishes to acknowledge herself, so I wish to acknowledge her also. (Bravo)

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  29. hello, diva artist!! you are definitely an artist....say it loud, and say it proud!! :))

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  30. So nice to visit your lovely blog. Being an artist is difficult, because there are those circumstances that steal our confidence. Yet, I found that when I took out a photograph of me at six, I remembered the artist who always lived inside. I still have that photograph sitting nearby, reminding me who I am today.

    Creativity is a dance that was never meant to end...

    Karen

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  31. You ARE an artist! It certainly is difficult to acknowledge. I think many of us have that fear that we are not good enough, or need to be published, or have sold things to really, truly be called an artist. I know in my heart that is not true. If you like to create, than you are an artist! Take joy in knowing that.
    Sharon :-)

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  32. Diva, that was powerful...Thank you for sharing it, my eyes filled with tears as I read it and said the words along with you. In your honor Diva...I too want to acknowlege you as an artist and myself also...too long forgotten but always somewhere not quite too deep inside just waiting for that moment for me to find her again and let her create. Diva...I thank you...Rose

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  33. This...was one of the most wonderful posts! Like looking directly into your heart. I felt your wish, your dream...and the little chips that took you away from it!
    You are an artist! You were born to it. It doesn't matter when it comes to education..some of our most treasured artists in History didn't go to school.
    I think what makes an artist...no matter what their endeavor, is the passion they feel for it.
    I am not great with word or expressing myself when it comes to something this deep and important..so I am hoping you understand what I am trying to say. From what I learned of you so far...you will.

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