Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Hide & Seek
I won't bore you with the details of what I know see as my mid-life crisis, suffice it to say that I have had an epiphany of sorts in the last several days. On Sunday I attended a my best friend's party, a celebration of her daughter's sweet 16 birthday! Now I can tell you right off, and she will testify to it, that I have been grumbling about attending since the invite arrived. I just didn't want to go and be in the presence of all these people I'd been trying to avoid all summer. I really didn't want anyone to see what I deemed to be the downfall of my physical condition! I did go of course, she is my BEST friend after all.
She knew I was there out of my love for her and her daughter. Did I have a great time? Well not really, but it wasn't as bad as I imagined and my husband seemed to have a great time visiting with all his buddies (men never worry about these things). I was glad to be there for my dear friend and took my mind off my insecurities by helping her to serve, clean up etc. so that she could spend more time enjoying her guests & family. It all worked out in the end.
So where may you ask is the 'epiphany' part of this story??? Well yesterday another very dear friend called me bright and early and asked me to join her at the beach for a few hours while the kids were in school. I knew it would just be the two of us (a fairly safe environment) and since we hadn't had many opportunities to spend time together, I ditched my housecleaning and went. We had a beautiful day, the beach was filled with shells and starfish that had washed up from last week's storm. We walked, talked and combed the shore for treasure. We spent some time painting seashells and just laughing and enjoying ourselves. This friend will be hosting a weekly Christian book study next week that I will be attending with a few other women. She talked about how she wanted to get us all to recognize the beauty within us, how we should be as kind and gentle with the words we speak to ourselves as we are with the words we use for others. Why is it we can support those around us with encouraging words but find it so hard to do the same for ourselves? That was my light bulb moment...how dare I speak to myself so badly, why I would never allow anyone to speak to a friend that way.
So I will be kinder to myself, recognize that while my young slim body and unwrinkled face may be a thing of the past, this body has served me well. I have given birth to my beautiful and precious sons, my husband still finds me desirable despite my flaws and I hope and pray that this 'house' my soul resides in will hold up for a long time to come. I still have so much life to live, wisdom to share and lots of love to give!