Friday, October 2, 2009
The Many Faces of Diva
Are the masks in of themselves a problem? That was where my search for the truth led me this week, to reveal my true identity to myself. I have realized that each of these faces makes up the whole of who I am, each one placing me in character for the scene in which I am cast. The masks are not a problem per se, they serve a purpose. The lies, or opposite of truth, only occurs when I see myself as one 'character' and not a culmination of all of them. Some masks, from my youth have been discarded as they became obsolete, still others wait for me to discover new aspects of myself.
There are times when I don a certain mask to hide from something I may not want to face, or when I am hiding a part of myself from someone else. That can be a problem. Does everyone I encounter need to see all the characters I play? Probably not, but I do need to be more honest with myself and with those I love. I need to be able to show them more of who I am, of course only God knows every aspect, even better than I know my self.
When I began this journey of blogging I had a very different idea of what this space would mean for my life. Originally I set out to share my love of art and sewing with like minded people. It has become much more than that, it is a place where friendships have formed, where I share my faith and where I share my demons.
This blog has been a safe place to open up what's in my heart and to be able to take off the masks. I hope that it will serve as a way for my sons to know the heart of me in ways that may not have otherwise been possible. It has enabled me to see that my parents were more than just my view on who they were. They were human beings doing the best they could and struggling with their own issues. Family members are more than what I see, they have hidden truths that are theirs alone. I hope that in searching for my own truth I will be more compassionate about the truth of others.