If truth were to be told I am not a fan of New Year's Eve, never have been. I'm not sure when this began, I honestly can't remember ever really getting excited about the whole thing. Even as a child my Mom would try to be all festive with bite size snacks and fizzy drinks for us (myself and my two nephews) and put on Dick Clark so we could watch the 'Ball' drop. My sister and brother were much older than I and out doing their own celebrating while my nephews were closer to my age and Mom was the babysitter while everyone else went out. Somehow even at that young age I sensed the whole thing was not for me.
The week between Christmas and the New Year have always been rather melancholy for me. All the festivities and joyful times of Christmas are packed away for another year and we look forward to a blank page. I think that perhaps as an artist I feel intimidated by that blank white canvas. Where do I begin, what do I want the final piece to look like, what will other's think of my work? A lot of time is spent soul searching this week, did I do all I wanted to? Did anything amount to something? Did I touch anyone's life and make a difference? It's always difficult to look back and see how much time I wasted, what I didn't accomplish. Here I am on the threshold of a new year, will I do any better? Will the old ways and fear of failure prevent me from trying?
I've attended my fair share of New Year's Eve parties over the last 53 years , sometimes because it's what I thought I should be doing, sometimes it was because I was cajoled into going and it was easier than resisting. This year I have decided you will find me in the comfort of my home, in my warmest jammies, snuggled up with some old classic movies and saying goodnight to 2009 when I'm tired.